Ask ten random people if stress is a psychological disorder, and you’ll probably get ten affirmative responses.

Conduct the same experiment with ten psychiatrists, ten psychologists, and ten stress management experts, and you’ll likely get 30 more “yes” responses.

But what if all 40 of these responses were actually wrong? Would that surprise you? Would it shock you?

Stress Is Not A Psychological Disorder

While it may appear that stress is primarily a psychological disorder….it is not.

Stress is actually a philosophical disorder. And while philosophical disorders often resemble psychological maladies, they actually arise from a different source. They arise from having a whole bunch of very poor philosophies.

For example, if you are a proponent of the philosophy that life is a “dog-eat-dog” competition, and the only way to rise to the top (and be happy) is to trample anyone who gets in your way….you’re going to have lots of stress.

If you hold tightly (and with strong conviction) to the belief that your favorite personal theories about life are 98% true, and that there’s very little chance you could ever be wrong…guess what? Yep, you’re going to have loads of stress in your life.

And if you are a very manly man, and you believe women are the “weaker” sex…oh my, are you in for a whole heap of trouble!

How Good Are Your Personal Philosophies?

The examples above all represent very poor philosophies. They are deficient because they don’t connect with reality. If you try to live by these philosophies, thinking they will help you succeed and be happy, you’re going to be let down.

This is not a psychological disorder, like severe depression, severe anxiety, psychosis, or multiple personality syndrome.

Instead, it is needlessly suffering from bad personal philosophies!

Think About This….But Be Careful!

Take a few moments to reflect upon how good, or bad, your personal philosophies might be. But be very careful when conducting such an inquiry.

You see, thinking about anything is largely determined by guess what–your philosophies!

So if you’ve got any faulty ones inside you, they may keep you from honestly and accurately assessing this whole philosophical arena.

I wish this wasn’t so, but after all–we’re all human beings.

And to be human means, among other things, that whether we know it or not, ultimately we are all philosophers.

How happy, healthy, confident, and successful you are in life will be largely dependent on the quality of your personal philosophies. So, too, will be the amount of stress you experience.

That’s because stress, at its roots, is primarily a philosophical disorder. It can affect any individual, whether or not they have a true psychological disorder.

You are moving up in your organization. Your talent is recognized. Your ambition is respected. But do you have a key leadership trait? Can you stay calm under pressure? Can you navigate your team through chaos? Can you handle the stress?

The pressure of change is usually what makes young leaders crumble. They are perfectly capable of following a checklist or implementing a policy. But change, and the uncomfortableness it naturally causes, can make them indecisive and fearful. Throw a chaotic situation in there and some people crumble under the twin attacks of stress and the workplace.

How can you eliminate stress? Here are 5 ways:

1. Take time for self feedback. This is not the “take a break” recommended by so many stress management programs. It is specifically time for you to inventory yourself – your emotions, your physical condition, your mental reaction to stress. You are training yourself to recognize the areas you need to work and strengthen in the fight against stress.

2. Treat the stressful situation like a problem to be solved. Not only are you more likely to create a long-term solution. But you will also diminish your “fight or flight” reaction. Your mind and body get fearful in the face of a threat, but excited in the face of a curiosity.

3. Develop a plan of attack. Treat the stressful situation like an attacking army that must be destroyed. Set specific goals that must be accomplished, with specific dates of completion. Be aware of the resources you have and especially the resources you need to be successful.

4. Be aware of your physical health. In addition to the feedback cycle above, pay attention to your weight and energy. Either of these two, if left unattended, can be worn down by stress.

5. Take consistent action. Stress can be compounded by the feeling of helplessness that inaction induces. In addition, attacking stress negates the power it is putting on you. By taking consistent action, you are also building momentum.

Trying to battle stress is a losing proposition. Stress doesn’t “give up” or stop. You can’t “convince” it to stop killing you. And you may be stronger than it. This time. But stress is relentless.

The key to winning over stress is to eliminate it. This means removing the source of the stress. Or transforming it into something else. You just need the skills to do this, and stress management coaching to implement it.

As a wife, full-time mom, part-time writer, and of course, housekeeper, here is a fast technique I’ve adopted to improve my mood and get a hold of my emotions. It’s a method that has helped me again and again, propelling me forward and keeping me from sinking into the morass of mood.

Human nature makes it too easy for us to slip into a negative frame of mind. We don’t always realize that the more negativity we indulge in, the deeper we dig those neural pathways in our brains. And the more entrenched we are in annoyance, anger, apprehension, disappointment, frustration, sadness, and worry, the harder it is to dig our way out.

Here’s what you can do the minute you become even slightly conscious of something negative hovering in your brain:

• Stop and tune in. Label what you are feeling; give a name to the emotion. Then verbalize why you are feeling this way. Even if you don’t actually say it aloud, put the reasons for those feelings into words.

For example: I realize something inside me doesn’t feel good. I stop. I say to myself, “I am feeling irritated, and on the way to feeling full-fledged fed up.” Why? Maybe because I just realized that my eight-year-old son did not put his clothes into the hamper – again. Maybe because during supper tonight my husband answered his cell phone three times, and I wanted his undisturbed attention. Or maybe I’m feeling frustrated and apprehensive because I have a work deadline tomorrow morning, and I don’t know how I’m going to achieve it. And I’m also afraid that the client won’t like my work.

• Tell yourself what you wish would happen right now. For example: I wish my kids always put their dirty clothes in the hamper. I wish I had more time with my husband. I wish I had finished my work already, and I wish I was more confident about my writing. I wish I could lie down right now and sleep for two days. I wish my daughter always spoke considerately to her siblings.

• Accept the situation. Then add, “But I accept the situation the way it is.” You can also add any other words that you find helpful, like: This is normal. So many other people around me are dealing with the same thing. It will pass. I will be okay. In the end, it will work out – just like it has so many other times. [Note: Accepting the situation doesn't mean to passively accept life situations the way they are and never institute changes. Obviously, there are many issues that require intervention and solutions. After all, you don't want to passively accept that your children never put things away, or that there's never any time to spend with your spouse. Right now, you're focusing on this one incident, tuning into it, accepting that it happened, and moving on with your day.]

• That’s it. Yes, that’s the whole thing. I assure you that it works. It may not immediately make you feel like jumping for joy, but it stops the negativity in its tracks, which inevitably makes way for positivity. And the more you do it, the more results you will see.

This technique is especially good if you’re one of those people like me who get mired so easily in negative feelings to the point that you can’t concentrate on other things. I am not a therapist, and I do not pretend to have created this method. It came about from books and articles I read, and of course, personal experience. It began with reading about the need to empathize with others, but how we can only do for others what we can do for ourselves. So if you want to be able to truly empathize with spouses, children, parents, sibling, friends, neighbors, colleagues, and even that harassed individual standing on line in front of you, you first have to know how empathize with yourself.

This knowledge combined with the benefits of stopping in my tracks, identifying the emotion(s), and most important of all, acceptance, has become my quick and practical method of not letting all those negatives out there get the better of me.